


Wipe Off That Makeup, What's In Is Despair

by xhangemhighx



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Bending (Avatar TV), Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst and Feels, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Established Relationship, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Protective Sokka (Avatar), zukka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:21:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24727408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xhangemhighx/pseuds/xhangemhighx
Summary: Zuko wears makeup to hide his scar. When Sokka finds out, he's not mad at all. Only comforting.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 651





	Wipe Off That Makeup, What's In Is Despair

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from The End by My Chemical Romance. An alternate title was "if you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can find out firsthand what it's like to be me" which is a lyric from the same song.

Zuko hated his scar. He wore makeup to cover it almost every day. He didn't do a very good job of it, but it worked. People stopped looking at him with fear or pity. He was normal and nothing had happened. He could never forget or forgive what Ozai had done, but he could certainly hide it.

* * *

There was a snowstorm outside, strong enough to knock out the power and keep Zuko inside. He was at Sokka's apartment, where they'd gone after their dinner date. It had only been their third date, but Zuko quite liked him. Sokka made him feel... well, wanted. The only other person who did was uncle, but uncle didn't really count.

He hadn't shown Sokka his scar. He'd been planning to, but he just couldn't. He waited for the perfect moment, but it came and went. His chest always tightened up, his vision was blurry, and he was terrified. Every single time, he'd said nothing. The feeling left after a while and he never mentioned it. It had happened for as long as he could remember. Anxiety attacks, he guessed they were. He didn't tell anyone, not even uncle. They couldn't know.

He sat on Sokka's couch, covered in a blanket and a sleeping kitten. His right hand idly petted the purring cat, his left hand rested on top of Sokka's. They'd finished watching the second John Wick movie about an hour ago. It wasn't really a date movie, but it was fun to watch. He watched Sokka during most of it though. How he lunged forward during fight scenes and made quiet comments after someone had said something badass. Zuko couldn't help it. He was already in love with this nerd.

Sokka got up and looked out the window. Snow covered the ground outside, and was falling in heavy sheets. The power had been out for thirty minutes and it didn't look like it'd come back on anytime soon. They only source of light they had were their phones, sitting on the table in front of them. 

"The snow won't let up anytime soon." Sokka said. "You probably shouldn't drive home."

"Guess I'm stuck here." Zuko replied. "Better than being stuck in the apartment with Toph. She'd laugh about it being dark and me not being able to see. There's only so many blind jokes a person can take."

Sokka laughed at that. "Bet you're glad I'm not blind."

In a way, Zuko wasn't. It'd make things a little easier. He'd never have to hide his scar around Sokka, only prevent him from touching it. The scar was old, but the skin had never felt the same again. He couldn't even see much out of his left eye.

"Yeah," Zuko lied. "Definitely."

Sokka looked at his cat sleeping on Zuko. "If you're staying, you might as well get comfortable. I'll find you some of my pajamas to wear." 

"That'd be nice." Zuko conceded. "Thanks."

Sokka walked to hall, taking his phone with him. He planted a small kiss on Zuko's forehead before leaving to get him some pajamas. 

Zuko's grin changed to a frown as the kitten, Dasher, lept off of him and followed Sokka down the hall.

"Hey!" He protested. "Get back here, you're my lap warmer."

He heard Sokka laughing in the distance.

Zuko did love Sokka. He really wanted to tell him about the scar. He just couldn't. He promised himself that he'd do it tonight. It looked like he was breaking his promise again. Stupid anxiety. Stupid scar. Stupid self. Why couldn't he do it?

Sokka came back and tossed a pair of pajamas at him. A soft blue top and matching flannel pants. Nothing like his usual red attire.

"Thanks." Zuko mumbled. 

He went to the bathroom and changed into the pajamas. They were a little big, but it'd work. Zuko absentmindedly scrubbed at his scar, washing off the makeup like he did every night. Only afterwards did he realize what he'd done.

The world around him started to blur. He looked down at the sink, holding on to the edge of the counter as he shook. It was getting hard to breathe, and a small choking sound came from his mouth. He almost didn't hear the knock on the door.

"Zuko?" Sokka called. "Are you okay?"

Zuko wasn't okay. He couldn't think - just stood there, his face wet with tears. His throat closed up and the choking sounds emerged again.

Sokka opened the unlocked door. 

Zuko quickly turned away from him. "Don't."

Sokka wrapped his arms around Zuko. "It's alright. Deep breaths. Breathe with me."

Zuko tried to mimic Sokka's deep breaths. He shuffled in the other boy's arm, eventually putting his head on Sokka's shoulder. His breathing started to even out and the dizziness slowly stopped. Zuko still clung to Sokka like he was a lifeboat in a storm.

"You don't have to hide anything from me," Sokka said at last. "But I know it's probably hard to talk about. I don't blame you. I'm sorry for making you feel like you have to hide it."

"No," Zuko choked out. "I wanted to tell you. I couldn't. I tried. I'm bad at this."

Sokka planted a small kiss on Zuko's neck. Zuko released the tension he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"I know." Sokka whispered. "It doesn't matter. I'll be here as long as you still want me."

Zuko moved his head up from Sokka's shoulder and leaned on the counter beside him.

"It was my father." Zuko's voice cracked. "I was young. I said something I didn't like and he got mad. The stove was on... and he... he..."

Zuko gestured to the burnt side of his face. "He burnt me."

Zuko remembered it like it was yesterday. The searing pain as his face met the stove, the guttural screams as he begged to be let go. The putrid smell of burnt flesh alongside the sickly sweet cake cooking in the oven. His sister was there too. Standing at the edge of the kitchen, just watching.

Zuko gasped for air again, grabbing at Sokka's arms.

"He's in jail now." Zuko added after catching his breath. "My uncle took me in afterwards."

Sokka was silent for a while. He stared at the wall, possibly calculating what to say.

"Thanks for trusting me," He decided on. "I'm sorry he hurt you. You're the best person I know, Zuko. Kind, sweet, and unbelievably handsome."

Zuko raised an eyebrow. His only eyebrow. "You still think I'm handsome?"

"Of course." Sokka stated. "You could have an extra nose and I'd still say you're attractive. Because it's true. You are."

Zuko interrupted him with a kiss. A passionate, affectionate one. Zuko wasn't worried about his scar anymore. Sokka was better than he ever deserved.

Zuko broke the kiss, but kept his face inches from Sokka's, staring into his deep blue eyes.

"I love you." Zuko admitted. "I love so much."

Sokka face lit up. "I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> Therapists are nice, get a good one.


End file.
